Mr. President! Let me begin this Cupboard assembly by thanking you for hanging the moon and organizing the nation, and the universe, in such an ideal approach. The moon appears to be like nice the place you place it. All the things you contact turns to gold, except you would like it to show to brass.
Now that we now have disbursed with the pleasantries, I do have a tiny query: Have you learnt that you’re additionally allowed to fireside males? Actually, you’re! Males are allowed to depart the Cupboard too.
As one of many final remaining girls on this Cupboard, I felt compelled to ask. Not for me, in fact. For my sisters!
I actually can’t consider a worse place to have a feminist awakening than as a member of Donald Trump’s Cupboard, watching the departures of Pam Bondi however not Kash Patel, and Kristi Noem however not Pete Hegseth, and Lori Chavez-DeRemer however not Robert F. Kennedy Jr. After all, that isn’t what that is. I’d sooner die than have a feminist awakening. Clearly, I’m conscious of the patriarchy, however I’ve all the time believed that I might make it work for me, personally, if I simply used the suitable hair merchandise and smiled extra.
I’m simply questioning: Do I’ve a future right here? I’m doing all the things that everybody else is doing. I’ve a face. I’ve a jet. I’ve incompetence. I bathe the president with reward at each Cupboard assembly. (See above.) However the place is the ironclad job safety, the sense that, it doesn’t matter what I do, I’m nonetheless an important a part of the crew? Ought to I be ingesting extra? Snorkeling extra? Each?
I’ll say I assumed that it will be totally different after I agreed to serve. I assumed, Effectively, this man has no respect for girls. However he additionally has no respect for any kind of particular person! I can construct on that. “Put me in, Coach,” I mentioned then.
Now there are simply 4 of us left. I actually thought that Tulsi’s willingness to conduct purges, peddle conspiracies, and forged doubt on the integrity of the final election would have endeared her to you extra. However I additionally thought that about Pam.
Pay attention, when you have been assembling a Cupboard purely on means, none of us could be right here. That’s the nice factor bringing all of us right here immediately: Whether or not we’re male or feminine, previous or younger, white or nonwhite, the one factor that binds us is our shared absence of benefit.
But when I have been eliminating individuals for doing a foul job, I would definitely choose both the man who’s bringing again measles or the man who’s bringing again the flu—two distinct guys, every of whom is placing tens of millions of lives at stake. In case you spun me round (please don’t spin me round; my hair isn’t outfitted) on this room and I pointed at random, I’d hit somebody deserving of being fired. Or a chair. Or certainly one of a number of fashions of a ballroom or an arch.
I do know you’ve mentioned, “No scalps.” Are you working underneath the misapprehension that ladies don’t have scalps? This looks as if the type of factor you may consider. I don’t know anymore.
I’m no feminist. Clearly. I’m within the Trump Cupboard. However that is the type of factor that makes me marvel about his outlook on the world! Not that we’re making an attempt to checklist contraception as an environmentally noxious substance. Not the elevated degree of joking-but-not-joking about eradicating our proper to vote, or having households all vote collectively underneath the person’s steering. I do know Pete Hegseth’s pastor is aware of what I’m speaking about!
I’m detached to all of that. I’m speaking about my very own private profession right here, and I do should marvel when you’re holding the incompetent girls in your Cupboard to the identical commonplace because the incompetent males. Is that this some form of Ladies and Youngsters First state of affairs? Are you actually going to attend for all of us to depart earlier than anybody else is allowed to go?
I assume I simply thought I’d be safer right here—that if I joined up, they wouldn’t come for me. I’m not speculated to be the one underneath the bus. I’m speculated to be the one throwing different girls there.
